Who am I?

Nobody too exciting. I am a gamer, through and through. I also teach guitar, play combat sports, and work in a call centre. Am I gonna say who? No. I'm way too stingy to do their advertising for them.

Interestingly enough - despite my fairly ordinary disposition - I am a leader of my peers, and most people I know look to me for guidance and leadership. They wear what I wear, listen to what I listen to, like what I like and hate what I hate. Basically, most of the people I know are losers, and can't seem to function aptly in society without the big rubber stamp of approval from someone like me. Do I like being everyone's "Big Brother"? Sometimes yes, mostly no. I already have younger siblings to look after, and I'll be fucked if I want to extend the list any further.

Why do people always ask me questions? It's because my answers never fail to offend. People will never admit it, but they always love to be offended. It's like some sort of drug that people can't get enough of. If you do a really good job of offending someone, they'll think about it all day, and they can rationalise in their own mind about how much of an asshole I am, and it makes them feel good to know that they aren't as screwed up as me.

Think about it. When you ask for advice, is it really advice that you want? Of course not. If you want advice, then you can fucking watch Oprah. I can't be bothered to deal with anyone else's bloody emotional baggage; I have enough of my own.

O.k. So you all have an idea who I am. Some bastard that judges others, while offering so precious little to society. Yeah well, that may indeed be true, but at least I know who I am.